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Tuesday, 17 April 2012

Tuesday, 15 March 2011

  • I'm okay. Its very likely that I am a codependent person ..stemming from taking care of my mom most of my life ..only feeling like I was worthy when I was helping her.. fixing her.. keeping her company.. needing to feel needed.. I have noticed that I need someone to tell me all the time how nice I am.. how I've helped them.. how grateful they are for me.. I never feel like I'm worth anything to anyone unless I'm helping them.. so now I found myself with someone who needs a outta help..and I'm always doing stuff for him..I never thought of our relationship like that.. but I guess since my mother died I needed someone else to validate me..I don't wanna be this way anymore.. I don't want to be trapped in this.. I wanna have loving healthy relationships.. I'm going to try and fix this.. hmmm maybe that's my problem.. I should just leave it alone..

Monday, 14 March 2011

  • what in the world?

    What is my life becoming? .. why am I still here? This is pointless. I just want to be happy. He is taking over my life. He works where I work. I just want to get away. He's such a liar. Yesterday he went to hang out with his ex cf and their mutual friends. Freaking lied to me about it.. I'm a good snoop so I found out easily. I will never trust him. Don't know why I'm still doing this. God, he's such a liar. I despise him. Now he's starting to get aggressive. He headbutted me and then he tried to stop me from leaving. He then said some threatening things. I hate my life.

Saturday, 08 January 2011

  • I wonder..

    If I can find a person with a similar connection that me and Justen had, but without the lies and lack of trust. I would be a very happy girl. I want to be able to fart around you and still feel appreciated and sexy. I wonder if such a connection will ever exist again. Hmm..

Friday, 07 January 2011

  • Helppp me lord!!

    I feel so stupid and cliche crying here at almost 5 in the morning about a fucking boy.. I'd rather dig my eyes out than feel this way.. I hate feelings.. I actually feel pain in my chest and a knot in my stomach.. I dont want him back in my life.. But i love him.. And now i fucked myself over cuz i got him a job in my store.. This is the biggest test i will have to face.. Fml.. I hope i dont let him back into my life just to not feel ..this way.. I dont wanna be one of those girls that keeps going back to the same guy who continuesly(is that a word?) hurts them.. I need to find a diversion.. Ugh but wtf hes constantly goin to be around.. I cant wait to go back to school.. Nursing is a difficult program..perhaps that will be my diversion..

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Special_Brownies_4u

  • Visit Special_Brownies_4u's Xanga Site
    • Name: Alicia
    • Location: New York City, New York, United States
    • Birthday: 4/13/1988
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 3/8/2005

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About Me

  • I just decided to change my information, it's been outdated for 4 years. Well my name is Alicia and I am 20 years old. I am a very nuturing and loving person. I'd like to say I am intelligent. My favorite genres of music are alternative rock, rap and dancehall. I love hanging out with my friends, going to clubs and drinking. My favorite drink is hennessy and cranberry juice. I am very picky when it comes to guys, I usually go for the scholarly type. But I have a weakness for guys who speak jamaican patois.. makes me so horny. I love biology and learning knew things. I am always looking for new things to learn about, constantly researching on the internet. I love having deep conversations with my friends. I hate talking on the phone, its more like a chore to me. I am really interested in the occult, learning how to read tarot cards. If I had to pick a favorite type of drug I'd go for opiates.. uhm I love pasta and cheeeeeeeeeeese. LOVE LOVE LOVE lasagna...my mind is constantly wondering

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